Marriage or a Holiday?

I am back in full time work...full on 10 hour days. Hence the title of my post. I have a holiday booked for the 20 December but now I am seriously thinking I need a way out of working. I cannot and I mean cannot abide working for Big Boss. Now Big Boss has an even Bigger Boss well it is time to leave...I don't know how many times one man can read the Riot Act/ Passer le savon but he has done it two consecutive Fridays already....maybe he might lose his voice and thus be stopped from screaming it out a third time! 

Since I have returned back to full time work there has been no allowances made for the fact that I have to attend physio twice a week. "Oh" has been the reaction. "That neck thing hasn't cleared up yet." The neck thing that they are referring to was a full side on impact that left me wearing a brace for 6 weeks and had my doctor ordering me to do 30 sessions of physio!

Whilst at work I have pondered over what my advert for a marriage to save me from working might say:

"Easy to live with, needs a cleaner to do the ironing and cleaning, can cook, isn't look for her husband to be home every night but really just to pay the bills and rent and he shouldn't expect anything in return."

However, I think that marriage is not what I need. I need someone to SPONSOR me. That would enable me to live on my own but with the financial aid of a benefactor to keep me in the style to which I have grown accustomed to: diptyque candles, macaroons, hot chocolate chez Angelina and lying in bed until 10am...yes sponsorship it is.  I would write them a letter every month giving them a status update. So the question is, who will sponsor La Rosette?

SINGAPORE GET READY...I'm COMING!

 

All packed and ready to go. I couldn't WAIT to leave China.  I was downstairs in the hotel lobby at 6.15am as my flight was leaving at 9.40 or thereabouts. I was skipping out of the hotel. I got into the back of the taxi and prepared myself for the hour long drive. True to form when I arrived at SHANGHAI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT people stopped stared, took photos but I thought "so what...laters I'm leaving your socialist backward country and I am not coming back". Honestly I had had enough. I was happy to be going.  You know what they say; don't talk too soon.

9.40am came and we were in the departure gate. I was already pissed off because there was no Macdonalds. I thought I might be able to get a breakfast. As you guessed it I was travelling on China Eastern Airlines.  Then the woman behind the desk announced the plane was missing a part. Luckily there were other westerners and I stuck with Marie a feisty Hawaiian American and Mike an Irish guy.  We waited till midday. In between time two lucky Americans who only had hand luggage managed to get onto Singapore airlines flight. Pay the extra money and fly Singapore airlines.

At midday China Eastern announced that everyone waiting for the Singapore flight would be taken to a hotel to take a little rest. I did not want to go to any hotel or in actual fact leave the airport. The immigration officials cancelled our visas and welcomed us back into China. The two coaches they had waiting for us would have been declared "End of Life" and sold off for scrap in Europe. I had no choice but to board it. The driver obviously thought he was driving a car - we were flying!!

We drove away from the airport and the centre of Shanghai and were deposited at this "resort hotel" which made fawlty towers look appealing.  We all, 200 airline passengers got off the coach and the coaches took off. 

Yes we were stranded. 

We entered the hotel and the woman behind the desk started giving out room keys. Ok. Then someone said "I am on my own". 

The woman behind the desk said: 'Choose someone". 

The man asked her to repeat what she just said. 

She said he needed to choose someone as single passengers had to share a room. She didn't care if we didn't know each other just choose someone or pay for a single room. Well I was not paying for a single room. Granted there was ONE cute guy but still.  Anyway mayhem ensued,: screaming, shouting and then she announced we should 'go eat upstairs'. On the way up I started talking to Leni, she is from Singapore and speaks perfect English and good Manadarin. 

The food upstairs was terrible. I ate a meat I still cannot place. It was not pork, nor chicken, nor beef or lamb. I don't want to think what it could be but I was sooo hungry and Macdonalds was but a distant dream. This is when I caught dysentery - 8 kg lighter though by the time I left Sydney so every cloud has a silver lining!

Just as we were all despairing the grumpy woman from the front desk came upstairs and started shouting in Chinese. Leni said the coaches had returned and we could get our plane. It was now 3pm....I had been up since 5am and was ready more than ready to leave.  I skipped down the stairs.  We crossed paths with other people who had been there since the night before also on a delayed China Eastern flight from Shanghai to Singapore. The two coaches arrived. I am ashamed to say I pushed an old man out of the way to get on the first coach. I had to be sure to get on the coach.  We arrived at the airport again, had to go through the same bullshit immigration why are you leaving China routine. Back to the same departure lounge and away we go.  Again there was no safety demonstration but heck I didn't care I KNEW I was on my way to Singapore.  When I arrived in Singapore I could have kissed everyone...relief doesn't even cover it. If you are going to fly in Asia; Singapore airlines and then Dragon Air. If you can afford it Quantas business class - AMAZING! Very "sexy" pyjamas!

Mao- father of Communisim!

DOWNTOWN SHANGHAI - FRIDAY 8 JULY

I worked the morning and for lunch decided to take a taxi to downtown Shanghai. Foolish really in hindsight but I was under the impression that Shanghai having just hosted the world expo was used to multiculturism. No.  I walked around a temple and that was ok:

After my temple visit I took myself off to go to the harbour and see that.  I thought it would be good. Take in the polluted air of the harbour.  Well I did that. Whilst I was there a woman ran up next to me and when I looked up in startled disbelief her man took a photo of to the two of us and then she ran off. I felt like I had been tangoed. I had had enough. I couldn't take the pointing, staring, name calling. I thought I should just flag down a taxi cab and go to Macdonalds. Hmmm well after 11 taxi cabs refused to stop for me but stopped straight after for a Chinese person I couldn't help but feel discriminated against. Then I spied a cab with people getting out of it. I ran and jumped inside the cab with such force that the cab bounced up and down. I shouted and pointed at my card with Holiday Inn Pudong written in Chinese characters and the man drove me there.
I contented myself with my big mac later that evening.

SUZHOU - THURSDAY 7 JULY

Suzchou (prounouced So chow) is apparently the garden city of China. I was not so fortunate to see any greenery.  If that wasn't bad enough Gary decided that we should take the train but had failed to book the train tickets. If you thought taking the plane was bad...the train station was HELL. People spit inside the train station and stare.  Also the idea of forming an orderly queue is so very English but the Chinese go to the other extreme. Gary was explaining to the woman that we wanted tickets and the person behind us threw his money at the woman behind the desk because he was tired of waiting. To give the woman behind the desk her due; she served both Gary and this other man and didn't even break a sweat.

Good things about train travel in China; they give you FREE bottle water and the trains are ultra modern. The bad thing is there are spit bags.  People spit into the bag and then leave it in their chair. A lady comes round and picks it up.

We visited the site and Ben the site manager was my favourite of the WHOLE week. He was lovely and just so smilely. He even offered to order in western food in for me. I was just about to say yes when Gary said "No she can eat local food". A man responding for me is one of my PET HATES. Gary was in the dog house after that.

The Canteen
We ate in the Canteen. Granted everyone stared at me.  It was chicken and rice. Sweet and spicy. The chicken had hair sticking out of it. I couldn't eat it. Gary said he worried about me as I didn't eat very much. I thought don't worry about me babes I am going to make it to Macdonalds after this!!

Ninja Taxi Driver
Gary had bought the return train ticket back. We had about 30 minutes to make the train. He foolishly told the driver we wanted to make this train. The train ticket cost €4. Well we took off at break neck speed with the driver putting his hand on the horn and swerving in between the lanes. I looked at Gary who was holding on for dear life and said to me:
"If you have the heart disease in China, you have the heart attack in the back of the taxi cab"
He wasn't wrong there.
The taxi driver drove down the central reservation, kissing his teeth and undertaking people.  He undertook a coach and when I say undertook I mean the coach was turning and he thought he could squeeze in between the coach and the pavement. You know what they say; everyone finds Jesus at the end. I just closed my eyes and started to pray. Well when I opened my eyes Gary was staring at me. I must have prayed out loud. I was SCARED....ironic really given the events in Singapore a week later. However we had a ninja taxi driver. We got to the train station and he had to drive up a ramp, he not only drove up the ramp, but printed off the ticket, looked for change all whilst driving at 60km an hour and not crashing his car. We missed the train!

Gary left me on the tube by myself and I got off in central Shanghai and visited a temple. Here are some pictures;

He's actually on the lilipads cleaning the lake; serene!

SHANGHAI - WEDNESDAY 6 JULY

Taxi drivers in China drive fast. I am now of the opinion that they buy their driving licence rather than having to pass a driving test. I left the hotel very early to catch my flight from Xiamen to Shanghai. I sat in the back of taxi...again no seat belts.  He drove at breakneck speed and a couple of times I screamed.  He didn't slow down at all. I wonder how many people die on in road traffic accidents in China.

China Eastern Airlines
If anyone recommends that you take this airline it is either for one of two reasons; they HATE you or they have never travelled on it.  Pay the EXTRA money and go on Dragon Air or Singapore airlines.  China Easter or Air China are terrible.  Travelling internally in China is terrible if you are lone black woman and it was made even worse travelling on this plane.  I arrived at the airport at 6.30am and it was rammed. I kept forgetting that a third of the world's population live in China.  Yes I was the sole black person.  When I say people stared - I am understating it. When I got to the departure gate - I felt like Moses parting the Red Sea.  Everyone turned to stare at me and were pointing and nudging each other. I don't understand it. There is a black man as President of the USA. There is Obama and now there is Rosette.  It is unnerving with this level of people staring at me but I find a seat and plonk myself on it.

Boarding a China Eastern Flight
There are no loading bridges. There are delapidated buses that ferry the passengers from the terminal to the plane.  You have to walk up stairs to board the plane.  There were only 3 foreigners on this plane; myself and two men and yes we were seated together.  We buckled ourselves in and the plane took off. No safety demonstration. Nothing so obviously China Eastern don't care about their own people. I won't even discuss the food or beverage offered....I didn't eat anything!!

Shanghai
Gary was there to meet me.  Tutting that I was late as if that was my fault.  The airport is miles and miles away from the Shanghai city centre. It is hot, humid and smoggy. We do the site visit.  During the return taxi ride to my hotel Gary asks if I have plans for lunch or dinner. Given I am travelling on my own the answer is no but I do have to eat. He says "ok we have dinner together". I retort "no chicken claw". He laughs. I repeat rather sternly "no chicken claw". By the look on my face he realises I am not joking.

Holiday Inn Pudong, Shanghai
 Checking in to this 4 star establishment I am hopeful to get a decent greeting. Stupid me.  The woman at the front desk says to me "What". What is wrong with these people. English 101 - we say "hello" when we greet people.  Anyway I ignore this as I just want to get into my room. I say I have booked a non smoking room. "No" she says "You smoking room. I send housekeeping". She promptly hands me my keys and points me in the direction of the lifts.  Everything in China where buildings are concerned are high rise. My room is on the 22nd floor.  10 mins after settling in housekeeping duly comes calling.  She enters the room and removes the clean ashtray.  What was the point?! A few pics of my room:

Lunch
After chicken claw and roast duck I decided I was in need of a good dose of junk food. I left the hotel in the blazing humid sun. It felt like the skin was melting off my face but I was determined to find the KFC I had seen on the way in during the taxi ride. I did find it but they didn't take cards and there a weird odour in the restaurant. So I left in despair. I honestly thought I would slowly starve and just as I was about to admit defeat I cast my eyes up to heaven. At that precise moment I was saved. I saw the golden arches; Macdonalds.  I didn't care about the people staring at me...I moved my legs as quickly as they would carry me into McDonalds. However, as with everything nothing is simple. I walk in the and the server says "Ni how (hello).
I thought to myself don't worry with the hello just give me a big mac.

Me: Hello, i pay by card [holding up my visa card]
Server: No, you go away 2 minutes. You come back with money [whilst pointing to the right]

Right oh. I duly l took this to mean that I needed to go to a cashpoint.  I did leave and she was right 2 mins away there was a bank. I entered the bank. As soon as I did the security guard walked up to me and used the standard phrase:
"What you want". What does anyone want when they enter a bank...MONEY!
I got some cash in the end and my big mac meal.  I felt very contented!

DINNER
I had hoped Gary would say he couldn't make dinner or something. No such luck. At 6.30pm I met him in the lobby. We would be eating local, sweet and spicy in a local restaurant. I wasn't hopeful. I should have had more faith. He took me to a decent restaurant that did wok cooking.  I saw people eating stir fried prawns and I thought OK finally. However Mr Gary is a sadist and says to me:
G: "You like bull frog or what about squid testicles"
Good grief, bull frog
Me: No I don't eat bull frog
Gary realising maybe I had been through enough said you look at the menu then. I chose the dry fried spicy prawns. He insisted we have the local speciality of fish head.  The latter was surprisingly tasty.

XIAMEN - 5 JULY

Chicken Claw 

I have done many diets in my life; cabbage soup, dukan, slimfast, special k two week challenge, hay diet (aka food combining), starvation and sex, skipping meal, liquid diet, sugar busters, atkins, calorie counting. None to any real success but a simple plate of chicken claw that cost all of €2 and I lost 3kg. Chicken claw is the cure for obseity plain and simple. I may well write to the NHS and tell them forget gastric bands for overweight people tell them they can have unlimited chicken claw and rice and see the weight melt off!  Anyway more about chicken claw later.


Site Visit
Today I am visiting a small site with Gary.  His command of English is better than the combined efforts of Mike and Jason although he says yes a lot less than Mike. We make it to the site in a taxi and I am grateful to be with someone who speaks Chinese.  Well this was the quickest site visit I have ever undertaken.  The security guard looked like a relic from the cultural revolution and couldn't take his eyes of me...but he kept smiling so I just accepted the fact he was going to stare.  He also allowed us to come and wait inside the security hut out of the baking sun.  It is hot at 9am in the morning and when I say hot - 40 degree hot!

The site was run by a crazy man.  That's all I can say. He asked whether the security guard had shown us the Health and Safety poster. I said no. He got on the phone and started screaming at the poor man. When I say scream like a sargeant major.  Then he started telling us about the site when he received a phone call. Gary and I looked at each other whilst the mad man started screaming and talking louder and louder. I should add that I did notice during my time in China that the mainland Chinese do talk loudly.

He abruptly put down the phone and said "government coming now to do inspection"

"Eh" I thought.

"The government come now, they come now do inspection" mad man looked panicked.

I thought to myself I don't need to meet the Chinese government officials. So Gary said we can do the site visit quickly as it is a small site. We whizzed round and were out quite quickly.

Lunch
Given that the site visit was over quickly. Gary and I then spent a few hours discussing work etc.  When he asked whether I wanted to eat lunch.  I agreed and offered to shout him lunch in the hotel. Oh no he said that is too western, we should eat local. What, I didn't want to eat local but he became quite insistent.
We went to the restaurant on the opposite side of the road which looked clean and very modern. Evidently everything was in Chinese and everyone stopped when I walked in with Gary...what being the only black person I am sure they had ever seen up close and personal. Gary then asked if I ate everything. I now know when someone asks that question that is the time when you list everything you are willing to eat.

I said "well what do you have in mind?"
Gary "You like duck and fish"
Me "Oh yes...i like duck and also fish"
Gary "What kind of fish - fresh or sea water fish"
Me (I felt kind of stupid) Just fish...I like fish. [I should add I still don't know the difference - cod is a sea water fish right?]
Gary "Good and chicken claw you won't get that in Paris."
I should add at this point I have seen duck feet before but chicken claw, I didn't know what he was referring to.

He then said you try it.  He ordered everything quickly and we started to eat. The fish came first, it was pickled and tasted surprisingly good. I thought ok this may be alright.
Then came the chicken claw...now look at the picture and then imagine that being placed infront of you. If it had been deep fried maybe I could have eaten it. I didn't want to upset Gary and he said "Ros ah close your eye and put it in your mouth".  I wanted to say to Gary I've been fed that line on several occasions and it has never worked. I did put the claw on my chopstick but I couldn't put it in my mouth. I put it to my lips but it was just too real.  He was upset but said graciously that he would eat the rest and true to form he munched away as if he was eating KFC. I should add that I met a man on the quantas plane from Singapore to Melbourne who told me he too had tried chicken claw and when you crunch on the claw it is glutinous inside...thank goodness I didn't eat it then. Could you imagine if I had vomited in the restaurant.

That's it you must be thinking; oh no......

Roast duck....I love crispy duck and pancakes with the plum sauce and the shredded cucumber. DELICIOUS. Not this roast duck.  The roast duck arrived and it was quarted...very crispy on the outside. I noticed Gary turned the plate when it arrived and he said take a piece and eat it with your hands. Ok I thought. I picked up my piece of roast duck and bit into it. The meat tasted good but just as I was chewing I felt something scratch my hand. I thought what was that. I looked, I had to physically stop myself from screaming down the restaurant.  The piece of roast duck I had picked up had the head, beak and teeth all intact. It was the beak that scratched my hand.  I was shaking. I couldn't eat anymore.
As if that wasn't bad enough, Gary then launches into the following:

"Monkey taste good...especially monkey brain"

"Eh" I thought. Is this man trying to tell me he ordered me monkey. What the hell.

[Me] "Isn't monkey a protected species in China?"

Gary "Yes it is but if you order it, the restaurant can go and find it. People just keep quiet. Snake curry good too..."

I think this man must have me confused with Indiana Jones. I don't eat oxtail soup let alone snake curry and monkey brain.  All of that is bush meat and I have a very delicate stomach!

For the rest of the afternoon I felt sick and basically just had a can of coke and some bread from the hotel bar and looked at the view from my hotel room window and marveled at the town and country planning system!

SHENZHEN - 4 JULY

The day got off to a bad start.  Jason told me to catch the 8.30 ferry I think to get to the industrial site. I got the 10 am ferry.

Breakfast
I thought a continental breakfast in a Holiday Inn meant a croissant and some dodgy jam, orange juice and coffee...no not in Hong Kong.  Thank goodness I had a little kettle in my hotel room and some instant nestcafe. The complimentary breakfast was a choice of tar like coffee, congee (a kind of hot rice pudding with hot pork), noodles and pork or cornflakes with milk.  Milk is a no no for Westerners so I had to pass on that....

Getting to the site
Jason, the local contact, got confused about which ferry terminal I should go to...the man behind the desk even when Jason was speaking to him in Cantonese didn't know.  Anyway I made it to the terminal with my suitcase.  The lady said "You want first class ticket"
Me: "No just regular"
Her Boss "You need first class, first class just $10 difference"
Me: Fine I said

Whilst waiting for the boat I did feel people staring at me but I thought well whatever and there were other foreigner so I didn't feel too bad.

I think I may be a little sea sick or the ferry just went very very fast.....

Shenzhen was HOT. HOT like Hell.  It truly was hell.  Jason (the local coordinator) finally met me and he said: "Ros-ah, you Ros-ah, nice meet you Ros-ah"
I have endured many variations on Ros, Rose, Rozzy but Ros-ah was a first.  Gary was in the taxi too and the start of our many "yes yes" conversations...

We got out of the taxi and the taxi driver spat. I don't mean a silent spit. I mean a hawking sound and then spat....and that carried on throughout my time in China.

The people on the site were lovely, Tony and his boss.  I am grateful that I read up about Chinese business etiquette; they were impressed by my little bow, me studying the business card.  We exchanged gifts. They gave me a wallet which I will give to big boss.

Lunch
The canteen on the site cooks ONE MEAL and everyone eats that. A LARGE VAT of rice and some kind of meat.  They brought the food up to our little boardroom.  Well I have never been so happy that there was coca cola on the table and bottles of water. I should probably write to Coke and tell them it was partly them who got me through my week in China.  I opened up my styrofoam take out tray and I saw bok choi (green leafy veggie which I like), rice, and pork. However the pork was just chopped up and the hair was still left in the skin.  I had 2 mouthfuls of rice and guzzled down a can of coke.


Sleeping at their desks
The office workers nap at their desk after lunch...a disco nap...or I suppose a power nap is more appropriate as they are not going to a disco.  Then music is played at 2pm and everyone goes back to work. Genius!

The Journey to Xiamen 5pm until MIDNIGHT!
So after the site visit was done...Jason and Gary left me at the ferry terminal to make my way to Hong Kong airport.  I was happily waiting in the queue when I heard someone hawking and spitting behind me! Yes spitting INSIDE the building on the floor....one thought came to mind. TB!

Shenzhen ferry terminal...inside

I took Dragon Airlines (a subsidary of Cathy Pacific) to Xiamen and it was fine.  I arrived at Xiamen at 11.15pm!   I get off the plane and enter Xiamen airport. I manage to find someone who speaks limited English and she tells me that my Hong Kong dollar worthless in China.  NO ONE told me they had DIFFERENT bloody money in China. Apparently its called RND or something anyway it has Mao's face on it.  I go wait for a taxi outside....I get into the taxi. There are no seatbelts in back. Suddenly I have that fleeting realisation that what if this taxi driver abducts me....I don't speak their language. Would anyone miss Rosette? We get to the hotel - or should I say the other side of the road and the man is pointing at the hotel. "Yes" that's my hotel. Then he carries on driving. "What the fuck....stop I start to scream" Anyway turns out he had to drive a little way so he could turn the car round.

I pay him and am greeted by the doorman of the 4 star hotel.  I walk in with my big old suitcase and the front desk man says:
"What you want"

What kind of fucking greeting is that at 11.45pm...but instead I just say in this small voice - "I have a reservation".

The only upside to the hotel is the room....oh yes no more holiday inn. I chose well and the bed is very comfortable....